Growing Up: Part 9 (Knoxville, TN)

“No man can order his life, for it comes flowing over him from behind . . .”  (George MacDonald)

After living in Singapore from 2003 to 2009, we landed in my wife’s hometown, Knoxville, Tennessee. Founded in 1791, Knoxville is home of the University of Tennessee and the Tennessee Valley Authority, one of the largest energy providers in the US. Within a short drive from the city, the Great Smoky Mountains begin to appear.

We bought a used maroon Toyota Sienna, packed up all of our belongings we thought we would need, and made the twelve-hour drive to my hometown in Western New York. That would be the staging ground for the final leg of our journey to Hamilton, Ontario, where I was scheduled to begin a PhD program in theology. But when we crossed the US-Canadian border and arrived at the school, a problem developed.

As I walked around the campus with Geetha, I struggled intensely with doubts. How are we going to pay for this? I will be studying full-time and we have two small children. Where will our kids go to school? Will I get a job after I graduate? This doesn’t make sense.

Why didn’t I think of this before? I did, but I was hoping for a miracle to cover the cost of tuition and living expenses.

The next five weeks were mental torture as I wrestled with my double-minded genetic defect passed down from my grandmother. But I was wrestling with more than just finances. The professional path also loomed large in my mind. Do I really want to be a professor? Can I see myself reading my papers at professional conferences? Don’t I get impatient with detailed scholarly work? (I had a professor in seminary who said the problem with the academy is “infinite differentiation,” always trying to define things with the most precision.) Will I be able to speak my mind as a scholar if I sign a doctrinal statement?

Finally, after many conversations I decided to back away. I drove to the college to explain the situation to the president of the school, who graciously listened and empathized with my struggle.

So what was next? We didn’t have a backup plan and my professional connections were in a distant land.

Geetha’s parents invited us to stay with them while we looked for a job. Since they had a large house, we said, “Okay, we’ll drive back down South and I’ll apply to schools and churches. It shouldn’t be too hard to get a job.” After all, I had a master’s degree in religion and several years of experience teaching and working with youth.

Before leaving New York, we bought a book on homeschooling, which seemed like the best option for our girls in our unsettled state. Additionally, we knew people who had homeschooled in Singapore and there were things we liked about it. I also read Dumbing Us Down by John Taylor Gatto. His criticisms of the traditional school system resonated deeply with me.

Writing

After returning to Knoxville, I began applying for jobs. I also started writing. I wanted to publish the curriculum I had been working on in Singapore and I had another book idea. The Bible frequently talks about God’s body parts so why not write a book that focuses on each body part? Here’s the finished product: Seeing the Invisible God.

 

Farmer Bob*

We had lived on a small island with millions of people for several years so we were looking for something different. We wanted to connect with nature. We had also been interested in healthy eating and the idea of sustainable living made sense. “How did I go to public school, college, and graduate school and not know how to do basic things like build, farm, and work with animals?” I asked Geetha.

I came across Worldwide Opportunities on Organic Farms (WWOOF) and we found an opportunity on an organic farm in central Virginia so Geetha, our two daughters, and I went to check it out.

Our journey took us up a rocky road on the side of a mountain. As we got closer we wondered, Where are we going? Is this a good idea? When we arrived, a middle-aged man with curly brown hair and no shoes came out to greet us.

“Hi, I’m Bob.”

He was looking for someone who would live in a new house he was building and help with the farm so he showed us around his property as he walked barefoot.

Although Bob’s extended family lived in New York City, he said, “I can’t stand visiting New York. I can only take it for twenty-four hours.”

“Why?”

“It’s a concrete jungle.”

“Why did you move here?” I asked.

“We looked on a map and noted all the nuclear power plants and decided to move as far away from them as possible. And being on a mountain means we get less pollution.”

When we saw the eggs in the chicken coup, he said, “These eggs are better than organic. But I don’t want to go through all the red tape to have them certified as organic.”

He repeatedly encouraged us to go for a swim in the algae-filled pond behind his house because of its health benefits, but we declined. Based on the photos on the bedroom wall where we slept, I assume he would have expected us to swim nude. The photos showed his grown sons lying on the grass naked.

We happily helped with plucking weeds and carrying pails of water to the animals. Later, we ate dinner with Bob and a few of his neighbors, who came to meet us.

As we ate, he told Geetha, “You’re going to want this salad dressing recipe.” He was right. His French Sunflower Dressing was delicious and we have been enjoying it ever since. (Recipe below.)

“We have lived here for many years, but we are not really considered to be one of the locals,” Bob said. “You have to live in this area for three or four generations to really be accepted.”

One of the neighbors at the meal had recently retired. He talked about how he had built his retirement home, a tiny two-hundred square foot home, on the mountain for him and his wife. Another told a story about hearing a bear outside of their home.

As we ate and listened to Bob talk about life on the mountain, I understood that it was a hard way to live and a dying way of life. His sons didn’t want to live there. And he and his wife had to make everything from scratch: hunting and cutting up meat, raising chickens, planting vegetables. As far as I know, they didn’t buy much at the local grocery store.

I was surprised, however, to learn that he had a dishwasher, which we helped to load after dinner. We didn’t have a dishwasher during our six years in Singapore, so I was proud that we had him beat in one area of rustic living.

We didn’t talk much to Bob’s wife, but he told us that “she has chronic pain.” And we were instructed not to interrupt her while she was doing yoga.

Although we left the next day without a desire to stay, we learned that a single unusual day can leave a deep impression. Olivia still talks about Farmer Bob. If you want a memorable experience, arrange a visit to a stranger’s organic farm on the side of a mountain.

Baking Business

We returned to Knoxville and continued writing, homeschooling, and started a baking business. We got our state business license, had the kitchen inspected, then Geetha began making specialty sugar cookies, date nut bars, brownies, and chocolate chip cookies—all with a healthy twist.

Every Saturday morning we set up our tent at the downtown farmer’s market and sold the goods she baked and packaged on Thursday and Friday. When the University of Tennessee football team was playing a home game, thousands of people walked through the market area dressed in their team’s apparel. It was fun to talk with customers and fellow vendors. Since our girls came with us, I was glad they got to see how to start a business and interact with customers.

Unfortunately, the many hours of work were not richly rewarded. We learned that you need to mass produce to make it in the baking business. But I’m proud of Geetha for showing off her amazing creative skills.

Job Search

I continued looking for jobs with glimmers of hope here and there. I had an interview at Samaritan’s Purse in Boone, North Carolina. The process was quite extensive. I had to meet with several people as well as give a talk to the staff. I remember one person who interviewed me complaining about the pay. A few days later I learned that I didn’t get the job.

We continued living with Geetha’s parents who were incredibly hospitable. In their large home, we all did our own thing during the day then ate dinner together. After dinner our girls would often perform a song for us as we sat amused at the dining table.

These were good days of connecting with family and having our girls get used to American culture. But they were also difficult days. I desperately wanted a job and a place for our family. If you are unemployed or underemployed and with a family to support, I can relate. Searching for a job takes you on a roller-coaster of emotions. Some days you just want to get off the ride.

Toyota Service Center

I had taken our Sienna into a Toyota service center for oil changes a few times and each time I was impressed with its cleanliness and organization. During one visit I asked a manager if they were hiring and he said come back later. I did and I was hired.

I started as a porter so my job was to park and retrieve cars. When customers came in, I stood in the car park area, put a numbered cone on the car roof, placed a plastic sheet over the seat and paper on the floor, then drove either to the back of the building or to the oil change area. When the oil change was finished, I drove the cars through the car wash then parked them in the front. And while customers were checking out at the register, I would pick up the keys at the desk then drive the cars to the front. I was literally driving in circles for eight dollars an hour. But when customers weren’t around, I only had to stand and talk with my co-workers.

One of my colleagues was Ricky, a friendly black guy in his fifties. He loved to go fishing and he even brought me fish for lunch. Since he was a Jehovah’s Witness, we had many conversations about the Bible. I was aware that Jehovah’s Witnesses have their own translation of the Bible called the New World Translation so when I wanted to make a point I first checked with his version.

For example, I knew that one of the big differences between the faith founded by Charles Taze Russell and classical Christianity is the nature of Christ. Is he fully divine or a created being? So I checked a few verses in the NWT.

After Jesus is raised from the dead he appears to his disciples. He makes a special point of appearing to Thomas, who had missed an earlier appearance. In the NWT it says:

“Next he said to Thomas: ‘Put your finger here, and see my hands, and take your hand and stick it into my side, and stop doubting but believe.’ In answer Thomas said to him: ‘My Lord and my God!’” (John 20:27-28).

This is very close to how it reads in many other Bible versions. How do Jehovah’s Witnesses explain Thomas’s response, calling Jesus “My Lord and my God!”?

One explanation is that Thomas was giving a general expression of amazement as in “O my God.” But notice that it says, “Thomas said to him” so these most exalted terms are applied directly to Jesus.

I asked Ricky about this. If I remember correctly, he responded by talking about other verses.

We also conversed about our job, the customers, and life in general. One day Ricky went to talk to the manager.

“Do you know what it feels like to be a hamster on a hamster wheel? It feels like you are going nowhere. That’s how we feel. We’re getting paid eight dollars an hour and it’s been a long time since we’ve had a raise.”

After his conversation we all got a raise of twenty-five cents. This was not the first time Ricky had addressed the topic, but it was the first time it worked. I assume his hamster metaphor was effective.

Needless to say, my pay was barely enough for food and gas so when we needed to buy something else, we used our savings. But we did have help from a massive hailstorm in Eastern Tennessee in 2011. The insurance adjuster considered our minivan a total loss because the body was covered in dimples from the hail. We received a check for almost the full amount of what we had paid for it and continued driving it as we did before the storm.

Three months later I was promoted to a sales associate. My job was to enter the customer’s information and car data into the system, then try to upsell to them.

“While our technicians were changing your oil, they noticed that your vehicle needs a new air filter. Would you like to us to replace your air filter today?”

I was doing the very thing I dreaded when I used to sit in the waiting room with other customers, watching the salesman go to work. I could never do that, I thought. But when it’s your job, you quickly get over those feelings.

Working at Toyota was a cross-cultural experience for me. I listened to country music all day, surrounded by people with Southern accents telling Southern jokes and riddles.

Painting

I had painted since I was a teenager so after working at Toyota for five months, making just above minimum wage, I quit and got a job painting houses. I bought white painter’s pants and a paintbrush, then went to work. I worked with a crew of guys from Mexico, an older white man, and a teenage guy.

The pay was better than my previous job and I enjoyed the work more, although I was not excited to climb high on ladders. One of the workers had recently fallen off a ladder and badly injured himself. Since the job didn’t provide insurance, he had to recover at home without income.

While most of my fellow painters were hard workers, one liked to walk around on roofs talking on his cell phone.

During my time painting houses, I continued writing. For years I had struggled with Paul’s example of earning income through manual labor in contrast with how modern ministers are paid a full-time salary for preaching. My struggle culminated in a blog post: The Apostle Paul’s Income: Five Reasons Why Paul Worked a Day Job. Surprisingly, this has been the most popular thing I have written by far.

The Bored Book

When Olivia was eight she won an award for a book she wrote titled The Bored Book: Ten Things To Do When You are Bored. Her list included things like, get a drink of water, run around the house, water your plants, have your parents read a book, “but if they are too busy don’t worry, they can read to you tomorrow.” We all went to the local PBS TV station, where her reading was recorded then played on TV.

A New Opportunity

After we left Southeast Asia, my boss in Singapore moved to South Korea with his wife Becky. He became the head of a large international school in Seoul. Near the end of 2011, he contacted me to tell me they had an opening.

Part 10

Part 8

*Some of the names in this story have been changed to protect privacy.