Growing Up: Part 5 (South Hamilton, MA)

“No man can order his life, for it comes flowing over him from behind . . .”  (George MacDonald)

Seminary

After Bible college, I went to Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary, which is about thirty miles north of Boston in South Hamilton, Massachusetts. With the help of Billy Graham, Gordon-Conwell was formed as a merger between Gordon Divinity School and the Conwell School of Theology in 1969. It is one of the largest non-denominational seminaries in the US.

I met students and professors from a variety of church backgrounds: Congregational, Methodist, Presbyterian, Anglican, Baptist, Lutheran, Pentecostal. Initially I was in awe knowing that influential authors would be my professors. In addition to courses in missiology, I focused on the original languages of Scripture—Greek and Hebrew. One year I took three language classes: Greek and Hebrew at GCTS, and theological German at Harvard Divinity School.

Seminary can be a place to have deep discussions on random topics. I listened to one student argue that Judas was in heaven, learned about archaeological excavations in Israel from a student who had volunteered at the ancient sites, and heard about Korean culture from classmates. In my studies, I was especially intrigued with E. Stanley Jones (1884-1973), who was an influential Methodist missionary in India. I wrote a paper on his practice of holding roundtable discussions with people from various religions, where they shared about their personal faith experiences.

Park Street Church

I visited churches for a few weeks before settling on Park Street Church in downtown Boston. Built in 1809 and located beside an old cemetery, Park Street Church is one of the historical landmarks on the Freedom Trail. For a time its spire made it the tallest building in the US. The first rendition of the song “America (My Country, ‘Tis of Thee)” occurred at this church in 1831. I decided to attend this congregational assembly because I liked listening to Dr. Gordon Hugenberger, who was also an Old Testament professor at Gordon-Conwell. Wearing a long-black robe and reading from his many pages of notes, Hugenberger was a scholarly speaker, who was also humorous. He loved to talk about Abraham and it seemed like he was in Genesis 12 for months, but somehow it was always new. When he wasn’t speaking he would sit in the middle of the audience like a regular parishioner. The only leaders I had known stood in the front, usually on stage.

On Sunday nights, I went to nearby Gordon College because they had an a capella worship service. They turned off the lights in the chapel to create an atmosphere like the underground catacombs in early Christianity so students sat in the dark, singing hymns and praise songs.

Church Government

All the churches I have mentioned subscribe to the same basic teachings about God, salvation, and Jesus Christ. But they disagree on many things, including what type of church government should be used. Since I have already mentioned our independent Pentecostal church in previous posts, allow me to give a brief overview of different types of church government.

All Christians believe Christ is the head of the church so he is the final authority, but how should churches organize themselves on a human level?

The Roman Catholic Church uses an episcopal form of government, giving authority to bishops, and ultimately to the bishop of Rome, also called the pope. In this system, a local priest answers to a bishop who answers to a higher bishop, and this process continues until the pope is reached. Eastern Orthodox Churches follow a similar chain of authority, but the final link is the archbishop or patriarch. So for both Roman Catholics and Eastern Orthodox only the highest human authority is not directly accountable to another human. But these chief leaders are part of a long line of leaders going back many centuries so they are bounded by history. That means they cannot make major changes to doctrine or church practice on a whim.

Since there are many Protestant denominations with various types of church government I will limit myself to two types—presbyterian and congregational. The presbyterian model invests authority in a group of leaders in each congregation called elders. These elders compose the session. The session is accountable to a presbytery, which is a regional leadership group. And the presbytery is accountable to a synod then to a general assembly—so session to presbytery to synod to general assembly. Like the episcopal model this provides a chain of human accountability, but it has a group at the top instead of one person.

Other Protestant churches embrace a congregational model, giving autonomy to each local church. This concept protects the independence of individual churches by asserting that no outside authority is needed. While the pastor and leaders have special functions, the congregational model emphasizes that every believer is a priest. Many congregational churches, however, still see value in becoming part of a conference of churches. In practice, congregational authority means the congregation votes on major decisions, such as hiring a pastor and purchasing property.

There are limits to what structure can do. Bad priests or pastors exist in every type of church government. And a good leader can be trusted in any type of organization. But there is a reason why Christians have been careful to create chains of authority. How else can a corrupt leader be checked? Of course, the entire chain can be corrupt, all the way to the top. But a solo pastor without human accountability is especially risky. Most of the time, a system of checks and balances, whether that comes from a bishop, presbytery, or congregation, is a good thing.

“Where are you from?”

In the spring of my first year I met Geetha and we started dating the next school year. When I first saw her I thought she might be Middle Eastern. Perhaps I could tell her about my grandmother from Lebanon, I thought. As she walked by my computer to go to the printer I asked, “Where are you from?” Later, I learned that was her least favorite question. “Here” she replied. Her response put an end to my conversation starter, but she was kind enough to explain that her parents migrated from India in the 1960s so she was born in Arizona and raised in Tennessee.

Geetha grew up hearing her parents speak Tamil, eating her mom’s delicious curry and raita, and meeting Indian friends every year. As a child she made several visits to India and enjoyed it so much that she didn’t want to return to the US.

After high school, she studied art history at the University of Tennessee then worked in an art museum in Washington D.C. She felt the emptiness of the art world and wanted to make a difference so she enrolled in seminary. A year later I began my studies at the same school.

On our first date we went to an Indian restaurant in Harvard Square called Café of India. The food was delicious: chicken tikka masala, saag paneer, and naan. We enjoyed talking to each other and I made her laugh easily. We continued talking and our relationship progressed. I made some mistakes. When her mom sent a package of clothes, I cut the box to open it, but I ripped her new pants in the process. I also opened the window in her apartment freeing her air conditioner to fall two stories to the ground.

I went to visit her family for Thanksgiving and attended her family’s Presbyterian church. And she came to visit my family for Christmas. She was impressed with the close ties between my immediate and extended family. It made her feel comfortable like her own family.

A couple months later, Geetha bought us tickets to a Boston Celtics game for my birthday. We ate clam chowder at a restaurant on the shore then went to the game. Then five months after our first date we got engaged at the same Indian restaurant. Looking back, we were rushing into things, probably because we would be graduating in three months. But we got lucky and things worked out.

However, the process wasn’t smooth. She actually returned the ring at one point. And right before the wedding I stayed up late sitting on her living room sofa by myself, wondering if I was making the right decision. Her mom saw me and we talked.

The reality is that we are both indecisive. We second-guess, triple-guess, and quadruple guess—though not about the same things. I struggle to decide when buying clothes: the size, style, color, price, it’s all overwhelming. She is careful with her words, and sometimes takes a while to express herself. Here’s a typical exchange.

“Do you want to see the movie?” I ask.

“Well, I don’t know, maybe.”

“Ok, we don’t have to.”

“Well, we can go,” she replies.

“Ok, let’s go.”

“Well, it’s not really my type,” she says, “but if you want to okay.”

“Never mind, we don’t have to go.”

In addition to our indecisiveness and different ethnicities, Geetha and I have other differences. First, her father was an oncologist and my father drove a street cleaner so her upbringing included a broad exposure to the world that I didn’t have. My family never went out to eat or traveled overseas, but her family frequently did both. Second, both of her parents earned advanced college degrees, but my parents didn’t go to college. Third, she grew up in the southern part of the US and I grew up as a northerner. Fourth, we have different interests—fashion and sports. Finally, while we were both raised in the Christian faith, we had diverse church experiences because her family attended Baptist and Presbyterian churches while I grew up Pentecostal.

Despite our differences, we are united by our faith in Christ and our appreciation of art. We have been visiting art museums together for twenty years. Our personalities are also a good match. She is calm almost all of the time and I can be stressed out sometimes. While we were dating I was taken aback when I saw a server accidentally pour hot water on her dress. She wasn’t bothered at all; she barely even reacted. And when my car broke down a few miles from campus, she took it in stride. She wasn’t like any woman I knew. We also make each other laugh. Usually it begins with me making a comment like “I probably wash the most dishes in this family” then she bursts into uncontrollable laughter to the point where she has trouble catching her breath. Then I start laughing.

Part 6

Part 4